Federalist Paupers » Animal Kingdom Strikes Back

Prease Welcome to Rady Gaga!

Apollo — Thu, 30 Jun 2011 00:16:19 +0000

You’ve got to have a heart of stone not to find this hilarious:

My favorite bits are at 1:04-1:07, and at 11:30, when Gaga says she could be friends with ghosts and then the translator explains that “Japanese ghosts are pretty scary.”

Christmas Comes Early For Apollo

Tom — Thu, 16 Dec 2010 22:07:28 +0000

Q: What happens when an alligator bites an electric eel?

Sleeper Cells

Jamie — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 21:22:30 +0000

Are we harboring terrierists?

Women and Crocs

Hubbard — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 17:02:13 +0000

What happens when a woman is forced to choose between her husband and her pet crocodile?

When he finally snapped and said it was the crocodile or him, Vicki didn’t think for a second.

She said: ‘I felt like Greg was asking me to put him ahead of one of my children.

‘I had pets when I met Greg, so in my eyes, he knew what he was getting into – just like any other man who gets with a woman with children.

Once again, we love Australia.

Turkeyhawks

Tom — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 14:48:56 +0000

One of the most important things to remember when talking of our enemies, is how utterly depraved and conscienceless they are. Here is a video of five terrorists attacking a child in broad daylight.

Viewer discretion is advised.

Ceterum censeo Regnum Bestiarum esse delendum!

CURSES!

Jamie — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 16:52:46 +0000

We are doomed! One of our best defenses breached like the Maginot Line by a German Panzer:

The Enemy Never Sleeps

Tom — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 01:13:22 +0000

Though, apparently, can sleep together successfully. With help. On occasion.

Edit: link fixed.

Welcome to the Jungle

Apollo — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 06:03:03 +0000

Man, if you leave an Austin apartment vacant for five weeks, you encounter a lot of wildlife when you move back in. Not just insects, but there are some lizards that move too fast for me to catch. It’s like an episode of Life After People.

Earlier in the summer, we were away for three weeks and came back to hundreds of fruit flies in the fridge. It was completely unclear what they’d hatched in or what they’d eaten over that time. Indeed, I didn’t realize fruit flies could live in a refrigerator for that long.

When we were away for a mere week in the spring, we found what I thought were worms, but after looking at them closely, I’m pretty sure they were snake hatchlings.

You can spray and seal all you want, but at the end of the day, it requires constant vigilance to keep Texas outside. Leave the homestead unwatched for but a short while, and you won’t be living alone.

Dolphins Versus Pirates

Dorothy — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 22:17:55 +0000

From xinhuanet, which may or may not be true:

Thousands of dolphins blocked the suspected Somali pirate ships when they were trying to attack Chinese merchant ships passing the Gulf of Aden, the China Radio International reported on Monday.

The important question at hand: Who’s defecting, the ChiComs or the dolphins?!

Tiger Recognition Software

Tom — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 21:22:52 +0000

A step in the right direction:

Tigers can no more change their stripes than leopards can change their spots. That’s a good thing too, for their unchanging patterns, as individually distinct as a human fingerprint, make it easier to track any single tiger over time. That process is about to become even simpler with a computer programme that creates a three-dimensional model of a tiger’s skin and can compare different shots of an animal taken at different times or angles.

The software is available for free download. You owe it to your children to know everything about the tigers in your neighborhood.